Toxic Comfort
A Gentle Guide to Spiraling Out
Starting over. Sounds scary doesn’t it when you are in settled in your comfort zone? You have your fixed routines that you don’t think about twice when doing them. Mind you, I am all in for routines, they sound like something that would be restricting but when implemented in reality, they actually give you more freedom and control over your time. You don’t waste time thinking about what should I be doing now to make the best use of my limited-resource known as time. You actually save a lot of time by not doing that.
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So. There are routines that you consciously create and make a plausible effort to stick to them. Then there are routines that life makes for you. Your de-facto routines are the ones that your circumstances imposed on you. Most of the time, these are not good practices. These are usually those practices that feel good and comforting in the short-term but they do you more harm than good in the long-run. Take the example of skipping breakfast. In short term, it feels like you just saved yourself some time and showed up to work just on time. But there is a plethora of literature on the serious toll skipping breakfast can have on your body.
Perhaps the most toxic routines are the most comfortable ones.
It took Ariana Huffingpost to wake up in a pool of blood for her to realize the extreme importance of sleep.
One day or another, you will face the grave consequences of your routines that are damaging your health—mental or physical. We tell ourselves we are strong, robust, that we can power through this, we can make it through this. Yes you can, while your body is young and is at the peak of its immunity game. But what happens when your body breaks down, no longer able to put up with your rushed mornings or sleep-deprived full day work hours? It will quite literally immobilize you. All the time you saved by rushing, life will make up for that time by making your physically so weak that you are unable to work. You just can’t get yourself to work anymore.
Take proactive steps to be kinder to your body. Stop ignoring the health warning signs your body is giving you. Go on those annual leaves and take your time to recover, physically, mentally and spiritually. Give your body that space.
I know how hard it is to leave that comfort zone of toxic routines. They feel so damn comfortable. Almost like home. So how do we start getting out of it?
Think about this: what is one small step that you can take today to spiral out of your toxic routine? Even a tiny micro-step is painful and difficult. So what do we do?
We take a deep breath. And do the painful micro-step.
The whole process of getting out of your toxic comfort is going to be like sucking a popsicle made out of red chili puree (it’s a proverb in my native language). Might as well take one small teeny tiny little bite at a single time.
But know that there is no way around it. You have to get right through it. The only way I see out is taking one painful step at a time. It is going to be painful all the way, might as well start taking the small ones now. Here are some of the things that worked for me, maybe they will help you out too:
Think of a Happy Memory
When I feel sad or when I don’t feel like doing anything, I have found that one of the best ways to combat that feeling is by thinking of happy memories. Some happy memories make you feel sad because they are bygones. Think of some that genuinely make you happy, not some event that you long for, not one that makes you reminisce about what once was. You can also think of a comedic one, something like when your sibling slipped in a pile of mud. If it can make you laugh, bull’s eye.
Skincare
If you managed to get out of bed today, I am proud of you. If you managed to go ahead and brush your teeth, amazing. Now take a few steps further. Imagine yourself in a Vogue Beauty Secrets video. Lather your face with your facewash, and cleanse thoroughly. Keep a face towel or whatever you want to wipe out your face with in your bathroom because going and getting it can feel like too much work. Layer up your serum, moisturizer, and sunscreen — keep all of this in your bathroom so that you don’t have to go and fetch it. As you lather it on your face, feel the textures of the products against your skin. Pair it with a jade-roller or a Gua Sha, get those cheekbones snatched. Feel the pressure of the Gua Sha against your jaw. Turn the whole skincare routine into a mini mindfulness exercise. You don’t have to use expensive products for this. Just be mindful of every part of the process, feel everything, and invigorate your five senses — the smell, the touch, the sounds, the taste, and the sight of your skin-care.
Body-Care
If you want to go another extra mile after skincare or just skip skincare and do body care. Keep a loofah or a pumice stone in your bathroom, and scrub your hands and feet. Massage your favorite moisturizer in, and as you do so, do it like a mindfulness exercise. Pause your life for a moment and just be present, pay attention to how the moisturizer feels against the palms of your hand. Make a conscious effort to enjoy every moment of it.
Moreover, any activities that don’t involve a screen and involve mindlessness or boredom in some sense do help. For example:
Coloring, especially with pastels, you can feel their texture against the paper as you color
Painting
Gardening
Cooking
Cleaning
Staring at the view outside your window
Sort a physical thousand-piece puzzle
There is some initial inertia that you do need to get these activities going. Like buying painting supplies, puzzles and gardening supplies. Then actually getting up and going to the place in your house where you put these supplies, is a lot harder than it sounds. But make that effort because no one will do it for you. No one can pull you out of spiraling, only you yourself can. If like you want to ace your next exams or deliver high-value work today, but you can’t get yourself to do it, do mindless and boring exercises first. It will help wake your mind up, get the creative juices flowing in the background.
What other practices have you found that brighten your day instantly or help you feel more alive?
Thanks for bearing with me,
Until Next Time :)